Payphone

Apparently this song was released on April 16, 2012... If you re-arrange those numbers, it is almost like today's date. But that is not the point - I somehow saw a broken payphone today and called it for repair. I wish my life was as easy to get fixed though, which I doubt it would be the case.

The music video itself resonates with me very well. I guess as an ex-banker, worked many years, and ended up that badly. I kept asking myself, if there was something that went wrong, what could it be? What exactly happened and I got what I got in life? I only have my assumptions, but I will never find out why I think. I just feel full of anger each day, as it was never justifiable with whatever happened. If it was my skills, shortcomings - fine, but it wasn't! I don't think I need to start a war to make things right, and hence each day I just wanted me to end. I can't live like nothing happened, and let go of it all. But I don't want to start a fight either. The banker in the video, literally was just trying to save someone he likes? loves? cares? And somehow ended up in a cop chase by mistake. I am actually surprised that those cops would even spend that much resources to pursuit a man in a car, while the robbery is happening?! I wonder who did he end up calling at the payphone... what do you think? Could it be that girl? Or could it be a lawyer? If I can make anything up - maybe he is calling his boyfriend :P

PS: I often think if I wasn't a gentle / soft person, would I have a better ending. If I was aggressive, violent, "assertive", "bitchy" - maybe I would be able to keep my job by joining the bullying team. Maybe if I could just turn a blind eye to compliance, to ethics, to what's right in life - I wouldn't be in my current position... Luckily I don't have kids - I wouldn't know how to parent them with my experience... be good and die young? or be a cunt and perhaps more "successful" in life?! Between that - I think I am going to be like him - do what's right and fuck it - whatever...