Born This Way / Crush (1980 Me)...Plus More

If only there was a way to explain how heavy my heart is right now in words...

Too many things have happened in the past week or so, and some of them, I really didn't even want to put it here. I just know that I wouldn't have wished anyone to go through it at all.

And somehow in this "shit soul in a shitshow" (love to TM this).... it has an right element in it. If it wasn't me, us, then someone else had to go through it I think, and the result would not be the same (eg. same skillsets, same feeling, same attractions, etc)....

Without delving into too much about the week, I am just going to focus on the last day or so...

And first and foremost, I noticed there was an earthquake recently (Crete, Greece) and (Turkey), even in Melbourne (Croydon / Rushworth) the week before. I just hope everything and everyone is ok...

This time, it ended up with 2 videos for today (I could have included more, but given the way I am feeling right now), 2 is what I could give my thoughts into... but more maybe included in the future.... I have also added a few more songs into the my playlist - #1111 - Ned Kelly too. Anyway - one of the song is from Darren Hayes, Crush (1980 Me) and another one from Lady Gaga - Born This Way.

For Crush (1980 Me), it wasn't completely random, I strongly believe there was even a spiritual side (or calling) to it. Especially when I realised today that someone's DOB, is quite similar to Darren Hayes, matching all digits (1,2,5,7,8,9,0), the only difference was the additional number. There is obviously more to that group of numbers, especially to me, or the those I love but I will leave it to the readers to interpret it. First is the song title: 1980 Me.... Did you know you can play around with those digits and the title appears?! (1+2) = 3 - C, R=18, S=19 etc.... The opening of this MV, and introduced the following characters: Corey / Darren / Cyndi / Martha... CDC and M... and this couldn't have explained more about the last 24 hours - torn between.... and to be fair, when they are all together, it wasn't that bad at all. I met a M last night, nice dude, just didn't spend as much time to get to know him more, but regardless (I congratulated him on something exciting coming up)... There was a sense of "Good time isn't meant to last", if the surrounding didn't want that to happen... I will come to that in a second. But anyway - as usual, my night turned into pear shape and from there till now, probably more so but also giving me the time to absorb my observations / feelings and merged them into deeper understandings of lives people may have gone through, or at a very least - my own life. If there was a clue in the MV, I wonder if it was represented as the shooting star in the end, noticing there was two letters next to Darren? "C" & "T"? on the billboard. I can go on and on about it, because I saw more signs than what I wrote above... I wonder if others see what I see....

Then the next song is Born This Way and the opening of it, resonate so much with one of my playlist too, so I will include it here today too...

I don't know how to put more into words on that one, but I guess if there were signs - then I can only say, the rainbow (even on the cloudiest day and it still showed for those who were meant to see it), those tears were real, even the Halo and the sun (G2 / X).... ! I guess this is also why I left last night, with this song playing - Tears & Rain? Noting one part of the lyric was "How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold", both literal and metaphorically (acronym) are correct!!! The situation was just that bad... not the people per se, but what more can I say when someone had to go through what I go through, if they were in my shoes from the start.... or was it meant to be this way, so I could spend some time (even though it is also as heavy) with someone else?

Someone would say my life is quite negative, but if I point out all my factual experiences in life, and provide myside of reasonings, it usually ends with silence as it is just hard to argue unless they could wipe my memory.... I also wonder if my life is here, so that others may not need to go through the shit that I have already gone through and so that I can also tie it up with both spiritual & logical ways together?! A starting point for others to talk about it, in a way that is less insane, or out of logics like previously what others may think!

In the end, have you imagined that some people's life are just meant to be shorter? Not because they were weak but maybe they have already gone through enough and the society is not ready for it? Or maybe they are just tired? Or maybe they are there, to show that a weapon doesn't need to be raise all the time in conflicts, even when it is rightly so! If going early (self choice) could end a widescale war, then wouldn't we say it is still a possible solution (not ideal) nonetheless?!