#209 - Love?

For the last 24, 48, 72 hours, I think I have gone through a bunch of events and in fast tracked mode. A lot of reckoning, some amazing, some good, and some put me into an awkward situation and tears too. What I don't know is how this will end, not sure is it because of knowing too much, or too little, or am I trying to salvage what is broken?!

So what is love? If we are referring to romantic kind, to me, it certainly is defined differently compared to the current social norm. But in general, I think I use that term loosely, like love from parents, friends, lovers, soulmates, even to pets, this is love to me.

For example, in this strange world of mine, I had to tweak love differently, not because I deviate from love itself, but somehow it seems to me this is how I should love for those who are also in a difficult situation. I often joke about Snow White - she is kinda loved by not just 1 person, but also the one who appears to be hurting her - yes - the hunter, then when the prince is not available, she is love by those dwarves (use your imagination there), and regardless what happened, the prince of course and they are all in harmony. In some cases, it may even lie (in a good way), the hunter did lie to the queen, so to protect that love so to speak...that is exceptional true in my life.... even from those who I love....and those who love me..... but other may not see that.... which is why everything can be very difficult....

With me always think that I am in the middle, holding onto two ends, something like a middle ground, a place where fighting / violence would be lessened. I guess, if I have a provide an example, something that can be extreme - like domestic violence etc... I do not believe violence is the key and certainly does not promote that. But in the event if it did happen, I wonder if we spend enough time, or effort to understand the whole situation first, before completely blaming it all to the one who raise the fight first. In a general circumstance, I think most people may already stop listening from that point, and be in a defensive mode, which is much harder to resolve a conflict and if there was miscommunication / misunderstanding involved, may even push it to beyond point of no return for something that could potentially had a better outcome and maybe even allow them to recover from this traumatic event?! It is like we are all human, we make mistakes, but I believe there are times that we may not know the underlying issues, or assumed? It is like when I read the news today regarding a potential / alleged raping story, on face value, it seems the story may be exaggerated, eg didn't go through trial, the circumstances may suggest something other than rape, especially it seems that person did not "think" it was rape, until later on (sounds like days/weeks later). This is going to be sensitive topic, and to those who are truly going through rape issue, it is equally hard to deal with, they may be subject to public comment, legal case itself\ can be daunting etc. So it is always a case by case basis, no right solution that is one size fits all. What I had issue was probably for that kind of "news", does it mean it is already advertised? So if so, then why not go to the police anyway? Or did we think it was OK for the other one (currently being accused) to defend himself, something that is arguable, unproven? I thought it is always innocent before proven guilty, is it not the case? it seems that for criminal offence like rape, it needs to be beyond reasonable doubt, with intention. So I wonder if there is also an education piece to the society, as that term (rape) seems to be often overused for scenarios that may not be rape?! By lessening "less than rape" cases, so the society can really focus on those real issues, give support to those who really need it, who really suffered..... being aware, promoting awareness does not mean increase "cases", in fact, it may just take the merit off for genuine cases... anyway I should stop here, but for those who are reading it, you know I can go on and on for those complex topics........

PS: Have you noticed that there are strange things happening in this world? It seems a bit illogical things, out of character events are happening, even to those who are so logical?! Eg Elon.... in an interview, he said that he had "reasons" to do what he did, and I believe him, and probably he did it for the world, but the underlying reasons may not be able to discuss, or hidden...... or simply related to something less than logical, but real enough in life.... Even this may be just an assumption on my part, I am coming to this guess, because I too experienced, observed something similar... and maybe this is also why I am in the middle, someone who is willing to speak for both sides, and too, couldn't find a home, a place that I can say I belong, a place where it is less travelled, a path that is so lonely...and yet....................................

is this love too? is it a bit of self-destructive? is it why love means departing because it is true? is it limited time, because somehow love hurts? can love be an one way street and so, be able to love multiple at the same time? For me, I know love is not about controlling, owning and certainly may even have some freedom, knowing that the love won't be destroyed that easily...........

Update:

As I posted this - I also updated the cover art of post #199 - XXX. Then it could be 9999 for me, whatever that may means... is it the end, or a new beginning? Maybe this is why the tragic can turn into something good. A double edge sword.... Just as I said above, I don't know which way it will go... even for me, I just don't know....