前世 (Past Life)

#KellyChen

Do you believe in reincarnation?

Do you believe in past life?

Could that be real? If so, what does it feel like? I wouldn't pretend that I know, or even try to prove it... But all I can do is to share some of my recent experience and just leave it as it.

For the lyric itself, google translate couldn't completely translate this one, it is also because Cantonese is one of the difficult one to translate, with 9 tones. Compared to Mandarin which only have 4 tones. So you may find it funny that I added a word down there just to illustrate what could be the meaning of the song. For those who have experienced it, who knows.... maybe it reflects even a better description of what is happening in their lives!

For the video part, I couldn't agree more for the resemblance of what is happening in my life. I have experienced the "un-suicide", and not under the normal drug & alcohol kinda way. I don't know what triggered it, but that experience is almost ridiculous. In simple term, it is like an invisible force is pulling me to die, but I was able to fight it out. The contradicting thing is not that I didn't want to die, but at that moment, I had to fight it. The surrounding also helped me in a way, like the blind was down (rather than wide open), the balcony door isn't open wide (when it was), the suitcase was moved to the area blocking the entrance to the windows, even the cable was blocking my way to move towards it. In the end, I resorted some unusual way, and knocked myself out of the night and I lived - I even said to myself it was a close call. If there was a security camera, someone would probably have commented it as an attempted suicide, if I didn't live to tell this story. This exactly happened on Thursday night last week 17 Oct. Then I realised there are a couple of people I think who went through that?! The singer? Someone else?

There are more to this story (The Before & After).... and for this post, I will just leave it here as it is heavy enough. The next post will be lighter and happier...

PS: Rest in peace. Hopefully this story may bring some truth to those who suffered suicide-like death which is not completely a suicide, even when they are alone.

Lyric

為你生為你死 令我對我看不起 我被你踐踏無處避 拿我命 來去換你掌心氣味 從未計較盈利 但有驚沒有喜 就當我愛上空氣 我也知你沒人可比 唯有拍翼 向上去不停飛 沿途別記掛行李 空手上機 大概都不必跌死 原來想要擁抱自己 先要放得低 別要為顧慮自尊 便去自衛 任何事也受刺激 傷口怎去洗 仍期望與你再生 等於自毀 從頭做人但求做什麼 都會放得低 為掛念往事 而求生活了亦無謂 這番說話 想相信到底 但你令我一生固執 也真前世 受夠苦未夠傷 亦要放棄再打仗 這顆心也就無重量 而你是人試問我怎能擒 明日沒法再遇上 若不堪設想 亦決不朝思暮想 原來想要擁抱自己 先要放得低 別要為顧慮自尊 便去自衛 任何事也受刺激 傷口怎去洗 仍期望與你再生 等於自毀 從頭做人但求做什麼 都會放得低 為掛念往事 而求生活了亦無謂 這番說話 想相信到底 但你令我一生固執 也真前世 尋回答後 找不到問題 這樣吊詭 原來想要擁抱自己 先要放得低 別要為顧慮自尊 便去自衛 任何事也受刺激 傷口怎去洗 從前若有過快樂 亦給火花焚毀 從頭做人但求做什麼 都會放得低 為掛念往事 而求生活了亦無謂 這番說話 想相信到底 但你令我一生固執 也真前世 曾盛開的美麗 歸於污泥 只想可找回下世

Living for you and dying for you make me look down on me I am trampled by you and have nowhere to hide Take my life and come and go in exchange for the smell in your palm Never care about profit But whether it’s a surprise or not, just think I’m in love with the air I also know that there is no one can compare with you. I can only flap my wings and fly upward without stopping. Don’t forget to leave your luggage along the way and get on the plane empty-handed. You probably won’t have to fall to your death I wanted to hug myself I will have to be able to put it down first Don't defend (Masturbate?) yourself just because you're worried about your self-esteem I get irritated by everything. How do I clean the wound? Still hoping to be with you again is tantamount to self-destruction If you start a new life, no matter what you do, is able to lift it up and put it down. There is no point in seeking a life just to remember the past. I want to believe these words to the end But you made me stubborn all my life, and it was true in my previous life Even if you have suffered enough but are not hurt enough, you have to give up fighting again This heart is weightless And you are a human and not something that can be hold captive with If we can't meet again tomorrow, it's unimaginable Never think about it day and night If I wanted to hug myself I will have to be able to put it down first Don't defend (Masturbate?) yourself just because you're worried about your self-esteem I get irritated by anything. How do I clean the wound? Still hoping to be with you again is tantamount to self-destruction If you start a new life, no matter what you do, is being able to lift it up and put it down. There is no point in seeking a life just to remember the past. I want to believe these words to the end But you made me stubborn all my life, and it was true in my previous life After looking for answers, I can't find the question. It's so weird. I wanted to hug myself Put it low first Don't defend (Masturbate?) yourself just because you're worried about your self-esteem I get irritated by anything. How do I clean the wound? If there was any happiness in the past, it was burned up by sparks If you start a new life, is being able to lift it and put it down. There is no point in seeking a life just to remember the past. I want to believe these words to the end But you made me stubborn all my life, and it was true in my previous life The beauty that once bloomed returned to the mud I just want to find my next life