Birthday

Haven't had a real birthday for years now. Probably since COVID and everything changed. But today I got a real unsettling feeling - not quite sure why, but just is.

A couple of questions kept popping into my head... like

• What actually happened yesterday? Did something happen and something that I ought to know?

• Should I be going somewhere else to have a celebration, instead of being alone at a home that isn't a home?

• Where is home if here isn't it? Can you imagine a home that you can't see the person that you wanted to see? Why things have to be so complicated I wonder......Maybe things will change in the future, but as if I know when.....

• I have sort of lost my appetites tonight... will see how it goes later.

Things aren't completely bad at the moment, at least is it better than how it was few weeks ago. But I realise there is so much "repair" to do, and I don't think I can do it all alone. There is always tomorrow right?

If somehow my birthday is fucked up today, can we rewind the time back and have it again? M.... AEST change to UTC -11..... That means, 03h06m till 29/09 again... don't fuck it up this time!!!!

Updated on 01/10/2024 - Added The Official Music Video.

#Katy

So just a quick recap on my birthday, even with the made-believe additional day - I didn't end up blowing a candle or have a cake. Was it completely awful? Not really. But there were moments of shit times, I didn't even get to see the person I wanted to see. Maybe later - who knows. Money wise - It has been up and down like a roller-coaster, for whatever unknown reasons... Hopefully I will get past this stage of life to see another birthday. But at the very least, I know who I am, I have my standards and from now on - I will not back down, until the end of my time. Just like this video, the star will always shine, regardless which costumes / make-ups she chooses to put on. I wonder if she wanted it that way, or was it the producer's idea. There is something in common though - it made me laugh in a genuine way - that's happiness deep within.