I can feel the day is drawing closer - It is like my life is also being torn between all corners.
If I have to be honest, good people do die young, especially those gifted ones. I think it is because they are here for reasons, once it is done, they are gone. Life is always going to be like this, that makes it valuable in a way. But for those who are gone before me, I would like to think they are ended up in a happier place. Who knows if reincarnation exists right? Perhaps even quantum physical can't explain it fully.
Recently I said something - When I am happier, people around me aren't. When I am sad and somehow, makes them happier. If that is the case, I would rather leave. I just can't be anyone else than who I am. Over the years of my life, I have finally see something more than what I used to see. But if the world doesn't need that while letting me to be who I am, it is a lost cause anyway. It is almost like X-men, retaliate / be controlled / be gone and for me, I think to go is the right way. I don't want to start a fight where no side will be winner. And I can't accept the fact of being controlled and that is just not good to myself. I have already lost so much in life, and since no one could turn back time and fix what it ought to be fixed, there just isn't any viable options. If stunning my growth, restricting me is what you are here for, I will let you win. At least I know, I don't need to deal with those unfairness and worry about justice any more.
I guess the life for those 929 - blue ribbon day - for remembrance, for those archangels' feast day are a combination of signs.
All my pillars are gone, the last purpose, I think it is close to finish. Other adventures seem to go on without me anyway. It is a life without purpose, it is just to survive, not a life that...... If anyone knows how I feel right now, they wouldn't have told me to "be strong", "change", "do something else".... when they know for a fact that, something along the way, something happened, and if the root cause can't be addressed - the cycle is just repeating. Like a bird get locked up in a cage, that is not a life that I wanted. There isn't any negotiation that can be done for one person's life. It is like even freewill, choices have been taken away from me. It has been too long.....
This playlist says it all. It is magical.
It is raining.... As I was creating the artwork.
It points me to Revelation-chapter-22 - It said someone falling?
I guess this is as close as fallen from the sky - news.
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