appears / M / A Song for xx

appears

M

A Song for xx

It has been quite an interesting couple of days, filled with heavy emotions and random incidents, some of them probably not as good as it could be.... but I would like to think it is already a better outcome, despite in a less than ideal situation...

Someone said to me recently that being alive....... perhaps it is true in a way, at least there is still a chance for changes. In this dark tunnel without light, sometime the little wander appears that is magical, giving a little push to go further..... why and how? What would that look like?

Just like this post, random as ever. It started off with Endless Sorrow, an older post that I made and still feel it is relevant today... It is hard to explain and if there was any frustration in my life, I think effective communication would be a big part of it. That brings it to the first song - "appears". The lyric starts with the following:

the lovers look so happy

恋人達は とても幸せそうに

Because we're walking hand in hand

手をつないで歩いているからね

Is this really true? Just because people can "see" it, does it make it a reality? Recently I had the opportunity to experience that too and I will leave it as that. Because the lyric pretty much covers it (Only two of us really know ホントウはふたりしか知らない). If I must add my 2cents, at least I know my feeling is genuine.

Then M - Recently the pope died and while this is a sad news, we can hope that he is now in a better place and if there was any sign, I think this song can be a gift from beyond. The pope is buried at the Basilica of Saint Mary Major. For some who may not know, in Italian, the actual name of the place is Basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore. Guess what the lyric starts with?

'Maria' There's someone I love

'Maria' 愛すべき人がいて

All those who have been injured

キズを負った全ての者達

There is so much more I could say, but I think I can just leave it as that. The rest maybe I can leave it next time, or up to someone else's interpretation...After those 2 video, my intuitive flares up and I really think there was another song that is relevant for today from Ayumi - A song for xx. This particular video was uploaded 4 years ago, with 2.8m of views as at today, on 28/4/25. Don't ask me how it comes to that, I did not know - all I can say it is just right time, right moment?! I am just glad to have this website, at least to remind me not to forget these sort of little wanders/moments can make a difference, for those days I am not as strong, and remain faithful to what I believe...

Little did I know, the story behind this song. But one thing I found out today and it resonates with me very well, was the producers' advice?! to Ayumi. that the strategy to "just be herself" and let her carry on as she was. I also found it amazing that this song is about "time spectrum", from her childhood to her future self, a journey of life. So even if there was just 1 person, even alone, the future self is still relevant. All of a sudden, I remember I too, had something similar written down somewhere and one of the reason why this website was created. Is this a sign?

What would xx means? I wonder if it was for more than 1 person? If there was a tragic ending, perhaps just like to a coin, it equally could have a better ending... or could it have a best ending too? I always think a coin has 3 dimensions?!

A Song for xx

どうして泣いているの どうして迷ってるの どうして立ち止まるの ねえ教えて いつから大人になる いつまで子供でいいの どこから走ってきて ねえどこまで走るの 居場所がなかった 見つからなかった 未来には期待出来るのか分からずに いつも強い子だねって言われ続けてた 泣かないで偉いねって褒められたりしていたよ そんな言葉ひとつも望んでなかった だから解らないフリをしていた どうして笑ってるの どうしてそばにいるの どうして離れてくの ねえ教えて いつから強くなった いつから弱さ感じた いつまで待っていれば 解り合える日が来る もう陽が昇るね そろそろ行かなきゃ いつまでも同じ所には いられない 人を信じる事って いつか裏切られ はねつけられる事と同じと思っていたよ あの頃そんな力どこにもなかった きっと 色んなこと知り過ぎてた いつも強い子だねって言われ続けてた 泣かないで偉いねって褒められたりしていたよ そんな風に周りが言えば言う程に 笑うことさえ苦痛になってた 一人きりで生まれて 一人きりで生きて行く きっとそんな毎日が当り前と思ってた La-la-la, la-la-la La-la-la, la-la-la La-la-la, la-la-la La-la-la, la-la-la

Why are you crying? Why can't you decide? Why do you give up? please tell me When do i become an adult How long can i stay as a child where did i run from and where would i run toward i couldn't find my place. i couldn't find it i didn't know if i can hope for future i've been told that i'm strong i don't cry and they are proud of me. they gave me accolades i didn't wish for any of these words that's why i pretend that i didn't understand why are you laughing? why do you stay with me? why do you leave me? please tell me when did i become strong? when did i notice my weakness? how long do i have to wait to get to know each other? the sun has risen already i have to go soon i can't stay in the same place for too long trusting someone will only let me down and i'll be the one who is hurt that day, i couldn't do anything maybe, i knew too much about it i've been told that i'm strong i don't cry and they are proud of me. they gave me accolades the more everyone around me talked in that way even things that made me smile became painful i thought i was born alone and i would live by myself i thought that kind of life is normal until i met you