The context has always been two forces (different end of spectrum fighting against each other. In my last post, I put Friday for a reason, because without it, and going through it all during this critical time, it could be too late to clear this toxic division.
For simplicity I will define them as Perfect, Exception, Good, Normal, [OK!] - Less Evil, Extreme Evil.
I am glad that I have to go through my recent suicide related journey, to put me in the most difficult situation venturing into both sides, in order to get the final understandings for all. Because the initial position is you see they may be doing something against your own values/beliefs (Hence the evil element), but it is also that particular "Wrong, but not so wrong", created a new path for our decisions/actions and then enable us to easier realise it may not be so wrong, when the eventuate outcome was observed [To me, it is hold the line, but it becomes thicker, or multiple straight lines (can look like curve].
It is a tough thing to go through, as the misunderstandings initial impact are likely to be caused by both sides, as the [OK] spectrum isn't defined, sits in the middle, which can be considered as not belong to either, or at best, sort of invisible at the start, or perceived as a weakest within the group. This path, to be able to experience it, it is often painful, stressful, filled with anger, disappointment, hopelessness, as it is judged by both side poorly and unfairly to the point. What made it even more complicated is that, this bucket, obviously doesn't happen very often, especially when it is in the earliest time and the percent will remain quite low.
So why are they important in a sense, and remains low number? I guess one of the benefit is that "Extreme Good" & "Good" will have a hard time to trust "Evil" & "Extreme Evil", the further the distance, the harder to build the trust, hence be able to effective influence as such. The opportunity for them to get together, is limited, if not none, and during the engagement, the defensive mechanism is going to the high alert by default, and the going in position, is assuming the other side is up to no good. I guess this is quite fair to say from a human psychological point. And if the distance between their own group deviates too far, it also creates unnecessary trust issue and efficiency in communication. It is like coaching, if the coaching topic is too far off, trust level is low, the "protégée's mindset, motivation is lacking, the rule of thumb is to work on the trust issue first [professional coaching], or to provide written information, so the audience have a higher chance to be able to digest more with less defensive attitude, which translate to the better possible to absorb the whole message, rather than stopping / interrupted midway like verbal conversation. An effective communication within the same group, is already a talent, a niche skillset - now can you imagine the ability / capacity / patience / time / resilience to # of failures / broad spectrum of learnings/considerations will be required for someone to do the whole spectrum in critical / holistic / end-to-end thinking/decisioning, which is the rare of the rarest. Then complicate this matter by time (past / current / future), that's a new layer of difficulties. Then further refine this to include "individual human subsets", the designated audiences & potential gaps, and then cater for religious / science / dimensional / quantum level to find that common ground or new explanation, new understandings, that doesn't lead to destruction but inclusiveness (thicken the line and the aim to reduce pain/suffering with proper meanings/reasonings attached). And the final touch is to ability to challenge the status quo, in a constructive way, and be able to work out the outliers, potential lies / incorrect rules / outdated rules / rules enhancement and any other helpful things that can help removing the bad situations by addressing the root cause, without pushing the problem to another bucket, or any new suggestions / ideas that may be relevant and not included above. That is not just DNA, experience per se, a good / pure heart is critical I think, and perhaps even spiritual maturity would play a big role too, plus timings, and potential the right ideas from (God, Universe, Higher Power, Holy Ghost, whatever that is less physical and harder to verify). The whole paragraph /and the talents / actions associated already seems like a requirement matrix traceability nightmare.
As your read the above, it is an extremely painful task. A lot of people attempt to this holistic thinking, will fail, and that is actually the normal and totally be acceptable and nothing to be shameful about. Hence it can also be considered as a blessing in disguise. The more "categories" you add it, the less people will get the that stage.
It will look like an inverted bell curve. Pretty much like this graph.
Why do I bring this up? I guess if we focus on the "Ok" bits, here are my comments / statements, and see it resonate with you.
If the good intention approach was fit for 90% of the population, and that also means for the remaining 10%, it may not be the right fit by product design or any specific approach.
I am sure the going management / solution may even be different depends on the sub categories that are going to be bit for the difficult.
Is it not naturally to think those could be angry, acting a bit out of norm?
Should those people be better supported?
If we judge them in a specific area, naturally their score may fluctuate, I am sure
Just any normal human beings, will there be strengths and weaknesses?
None of use learn the same speed, and speed seems to vary based on individual skillsets.
We all have different cultures and I think it is fair to say, none of them are more superior than the others, we all can learn something good from our counterparts.
Same as above, I see no country did it perfectly with zero fault, across time and history, we all do have our ups and downs.
If beauty vs duty, how do we assess? The best looking ones may not be the best for certain things. Do we access it through like a whole package deal? If so, how do you score the unknown, something new when the assessor won't even know.
If sides are (Let's say Red Or Blue Or Green, Then variations like Purple, Yellow/White/Orange) have different criteria, where is the "OK' bucket sits? How about adding in the spectrum for each?
Like Darkest blue, looks like black, midnight blue. A mix of red and blue are purple. An OK may be pastel colors, so naturally can blend etc. Then I think it is fair to say compatibility (like piano chords / personality straits compatibility), it is just very complex.
Even within the same colour, some people are just naturally easier to carry, some may be easier to be associated with something, not concrete but something may be worth to consider.
Shifting colours - we all have our masks, doesn't mean he/she is lying - It is just like a chameleon (adaptive), work vs domestic vs acquaintances.
Because humans are given freewill, then by default the "truth" / "destiny" must have a mechanism to allow sudden changes of self correct / previous outcomes. We know each correction must have impact (less or huge), so yes it may be bouncing off here and there, but this is also an amazing feature, how could it be real.
If God represents All, then I am sure it would have interpreted with all words at least at the literal level, but considered different timeline.
I found most religious have self repair mechanism, even with Quran, through using human brain, have we not observe our memories may be altered by external or medical factors? We are just humans.
Can you image the worst outcome from my last post, actually didn't exist yet, hence can produce confusion? Was it the 4th day or Friday? Was it 5th day or Saturday, or was it 6th day or Sunday? Is 7th the Monday? [Cultural / History] More info on. Did I make this up? No, it is mentioned in lyric previously. So are we still too early? That is how Quran is added additional meaning with Bible and more understandings and io vice versa.
If Good is all, can you imagine the true God is the designation/overarchy of dimensions/spirits etc, across different religious, universe, whatever. Afterall, if God exists, all things are his creation anyway.
PS: If you don't fit in our rules, by default, you are on the other side. Hence there is an old saying of don't mix the bad, and it turns you bad. I think this sentence is somewhat true, but for OK bucket, which is lean to the left and right, but not stray too far, they have the unique ability to influence both sides, to allow communication as a bridge, to bring them together, that is at least an additional opportunity to guide all the a better, harmonies position together. It allows those sides to "hold their lines", so their principle is reserved / respected, and yet be more inclusive, so the line becomes "thicker" [Spiritual / Philosophical]. The benefit of this, is then the battle, would have less casualty to innocent people, which is a common byproduct on both sides anyway [Modern Psychology], then it increases synergy as more trust can be established [Modern Project / Business Modeling].
More importantly: Learning of that day that, even the last story has specific day, covering Bible, Science etc.. In the end, you may find "resistances" between believer, vs non-believer. My experience and some special mentions had some sort of sacrifices, and despite our own hard working methods (trust me, there are a lot of good people on both sides), things "did" not totally worked out the way others may have interpret.
Hi Light - Met someone hold dears to me, despite some action that he did, he could be waiving alarm flag.
Highlight / Lowlight in Short Sentences:
It is innocence and sadness.
It is the happiest and also calming.
It is also annoying at the same time. Lovely people yelling outside all night long.
Time was cut short by random incidences, people fighting etc. I can only say we have been considerate, but that also contributed what happened the following day.
I almost feel like the situation was meant to make me uncomfortable. It can't be the same everytime I meet you, comon. If life is this sucks, I am sure I should just leave, so at least you wouldn't need to suffer.
Got left alone when I wanted to be together. But I did respect his choice and still trust you. It is like you were controlled by them, your action is therefore predetermined, even the plan made with me, meant nothing. I hardly ever see you, so when I do, I may have my reason. You can understand, but I am sure others may not.
Feels like my time with you, somehow the experience got substituted with someone else for unknown.
I really want to believe in the better side of the story, but it is hard if I can't trust the words.
When I heard you said sorry, I knew something was up, and it aligns exactly how I felt Thursday night.
I knew I need to come earlier, lucky I did, or else, you would have disappeared again...
I needed you this weekend, and despite confirming you are free multiple times, not surprised it ended like this.
I also experienced once again, what I heard, agreed upon, not delivered, sudden changes and I feel like I was to blame. Is this why you said "Sorry" before you left?
It isn't out of your control at all, I can see the dynamic shifted, I know you tried your best to hide it, is it designed to make me angry about you? It doesn't work.
In fact I am more worried, that you seem keen to spend time with me, but that "shit storm" comes, and bam, ended up texted, not calls are blocked, ring out.
There are more - and I honestly don't like being bullied, or accused the things that I haven't done, or incident exaggerated. [Especially if done by the right people].
Is it my bad luck? Or my mobile just locked myself out for 8 hours. It is like even if I had to make amend, it is FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE without money. And it is only fueling for more misunderstandings. Another reason why I just want to die.
Note of Advice: Who you see / heard is ugly, could be untrue, the real evil remains hidden.
Addendum: This may sound negative, but if you re-read it, the shit storm itself may well be action with good intention turns sour. Both sides are correct, but I am not in a position to be able to mingle with all corners. It in turns frustrate everyone no matter what I do, it is not completely their fault, but at the same time, my feeling / observations are equally real. If all of us can't be happy, and no middle ground can there be, why am I here? Wouldn't the best solution is to take me out? At least I know, the battles between (if exists) will no longer be necessary, I won't need to be stressed to consider it all, or feeling bad if I can't make it the best situation, I don't need to over-read, be sensitive, and not adding extra pressure for people who know what is right for me, but would go against the guideline which is mostly right for the majority. What sadden me the most, is to see those I love, good people, had to make a choice to do what's right, and yet so wrong to me. It is equally wrong for me to say they are completely wrong, due to different perspectives, I just wish there is a real solution, rather than compromising myself for each corners. It is sick and tired for me, I am sure they also feel the same. If there was a solution, none of us can make it happen, unless we are all in to solve it, which is also just like a miracle.
To You: As if I have forgotten what you like and not listen to you?
Hence I want to have a time designated for you and I, uninterrupted and not rushed.
I have too many considerations and if that is upsetting you or something else in the process, what chance do I really have? I don't want to see you every time to have the best and the saddest moment, if this is life, can I be selfish and have the best night of the world, so I can leave peacefully. If I have to be a living ghost, then why shouldn't I just go and be the real one?
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