I hate to be in my current state. I am not sure how long I can hold on to like this.
Nothing is right in my life per se and after that long, I am really losing patience, losing hope. There are a million things I want to say but don't know how. Perhaps because it is useless. I have been happier to think of "the other side", a genuine moment that put a smile on my face.
I remember someone once said he would be there to catch my fall, and the reality is that, I am not sure he could save me even if he was here. The thought of me, could potentially become a burden to him, just put me off. But I also have my own principles and I am unwilling to become something I am not, especially when my reality, may not necessary matches with others expectations, due to whatever reasons... if this couldn't be clarified, it is just an endless battle that has no end.
If GOD asks me to go, will you be happy for me?
We should all prepare to die now, I’m done with this life. I’m losing it too. It isn’t fair on me, so I can’t wait for the karma to make it all right after my death.